Like everyone else, I followed the highlighted testimony of Mark “the zombie-shark” Zuckerberg before Congress. And what I have decided is that there is simply no way these creeps are going to desist from their surveillance of me and billions of others—because it’s their business. Facebook followers like myself sign up so we can see the pictures and doings of our relatives, mostly the kids, and in doing so unintentionally allow the Facebook creeps to harvest all our information and preferences so they can sell it to advertisers who want to target their ads to us. In short, the business isn’t about connecting people to each other; it’s not a “service” as Zuck likes to say; it’s about spying on everyone everywhere to get their information and preferences, so the data can be sold for billions to the greedy corporate bastards who want to precisely target customers (and apparently to Russkies who want to target potential voters). If they know I’m interested in cars, they can send me ads for new cars. If they know I’m interested in underwear, they can send me ads for underwear. I’ve had this happen recently: I looked on a couple of websites for packages of underwear to redeem a gift card, and haven’t stopped getting underwear ads on every site I go to. At one point recently, I was pissed off at a rise in my car insurance rates, and so checked out a site that promised cheap car insurance for low mileage drivers. I’ve since been besieged daily with teasers for “Ford owner in Bolinas” trying to lure me to check out a great insurance rate (which turns out the same each time: they feed me to some company who asks for more information which feeds me to someone else for the same routine, but never, ever do I get an actual rate quote).
So here’s what I’ve decided. Ok. You’ve got my browsing records. You’ve got my “likes” and the articles I’ve seen posted by others on my Facebook feed that I’ve re-posted. You’ve seen my blogs that I’ve posted, and articles I think are worth posting, so you know what I like, or think you do. So to save you time (with the saved time, you’ll have ample time to shove my preferences up your blowhole), I’ve decided to put it all out there and let you pursue me with your best shot.
--I need underwear every once in a while. I like boxer briefs.
--I need socks periodically, though my sister bought me enough one recent Christmas to last me for years.
--I need gasoline for the little driving I do, but you can’t sell that over the internet.
--I read political articles on some sites you may not like much: Truthout, Common Dreams, Consortium News, Counterpunch, Reader Supported News, Nation of Change, Daily Kos, and others of that lefty ilk. I also read anything I can get my hands on that shows why this nation is going into the toilet, and how we might hasten its demise, especially its current economic system, to bring about a more equitable distribution of wealth, health and happiness. That includes revolutionary change of the kind that doesn’t involve buying lots of useless shit from big box stores, or going out to stupid restaurants that prepare tasteless, nutritionally disastrous meals; quite the contrary: it involves, quite precisely, refraining from the great American pastime of buying dumb shit or wasting time on websites that allow us to observe others posting about the dumb shit they’ve just bought or eaten, and instead procuring only what one needs, when one needs it. Taking pride, in fact, in not buying useless products that only help destroy our planet.
--I have decided that keeping up with the news from my relatives may make it worthwhile to maintain my Facebook account, at least for a time, but know that you can spy all you want and target me with dumb commercials all you like, but I’m not about to buy a damn thing. Not a damn thing.
So spy away, Zuckerberg and company. These eyes refuse to buy or even notice what you’re selling, nor do I have even the remotest intention of getting a smartphone or any apps that make it easier to tune in and buy said dumb shit. All I might buy are books, and I don’t like reading books on screen in any case; I like the old-fashioned paper kind you can cozy up with, which is also what I like to write.
In closing, let me summarize what I really mean to say, by saying to Facebook what my Great Aunt Zi’Carmela would’ve said: a’ fottuta.
Lawrence DiStasi
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